Extraordinary hope

We had a phone call from our adoption liaison this week.  One of the very nice supports from our agency is that someone calls or emails us at least once a month to give us an update and make sure we don't have any questions. 

Our liaison let us know we have had almost 80 views of our profile in a little over a week.  I wasn't too surprised because we can actually sign in and see how many people view our web page and I figured that many of those are friends, family, and other adoptive parents from the agency checking out the "new kids" on the site.  I was very surprised and very excited when she mentioned that they have been getting "good birth mother feedback" from our site.  I was even more excited when she told me that 9 hard copies of our profile have been sent out to prospective birth mothers.  She said it so casually I had to ask her repeat herself.  I had a hard time believing we would even have 1 interested person in such a short amount of time.  I believe I spent the rest of the phone call not really hearing her, because it took that long for the reality of what she said to sink in.

9.  Nine?  NUEVE??? Somewhere in this country there are 9 copies of Nicole and Jason's profile sitting on tables, in a drawer, tucked in a purse.  Somewhere there is a woman considering making a difficult decision and she is considering US???  It is just mind blowing really. 

That doesn't mean that someone has chosen us, but it is still a beautiful piece of thrilling hope that makes my heart do tiny pirouettes against my ribs.  These ladies haven't chosen us, but they are considering adoption and they are considering us.

I don't know if people can understand this feeling, I suppose it sounds stupid... but when she said that there were 9 hardcopies of our profile in the hands of real, live women it felt like waking up out of a coma.  All the sudden it was real.  It is such a new feeling to know this could really happen any time.  We have been hunkered down, waiting for a miracle for over 3 years and now I really do feel like it could happen. 

Many people would naturally ask, so what is the timeline?  What happens next? 

I'm not being contrite when I say only God knows.  When a mother does choose us the agency will call us to "present the opportunity to us."  In that moment (after I get up off the floor) we will be presented with whatever history, medical information, and other facts the agency has and will be asked if we would like to continue.  The birthmother could be ready to give birth the next day, week, month or not even close!  She could be in Hawaii, Indiana, New York, Texas or any of the United States.  We could fly or drive.  We may have to stay there for a few days, a week, or a few weeks.  She may change her mind.  She may decide to parent.  We will be overjoyed, we could be heartbroken.  It is life, right?  And it is out of our hands.  Beautifully, horribly, wonderfully, terrifyingly out of our  hands. :)